On the Unfairness of Life
Things I have not wanted to do recently:
Get out of bed.
Go for a walk.
Cook.
Make stressful phone calls.
Have a difficult conversation with someone.
Remove a very pretty but unnecessary item from my online shopping cart.
Do laundry.
Cook again.
Go grocery shopping.
Things I have done recently:
All of the above.
Why did no one tell me life was like this? An endless repetition of faintly annoying (though occasionally ramping up to very difficult) items on an endless rotation. I realize that is a negative, fatalistic attitude toward life but I am feeling negative and fatalistic. I am also feeling forgetful. Maybe life wouldn’t be annoying and stressful if I could manage to remember to buy everything I needed in one trip to the grocery store. It might be a nice touch if I could also remember to put the laundry in the dryer before it starts to smell musty.
What I really want to do is run away from home. I would come back . . . eventually. But first, I would have a lovely hotel room all to myself. I would sleep and read and drink tea and eat cake. Eventually, I would wander out the door, find a coffee shop and read, drink tea, and eat cake all over again. Then it would be time to find a few bookshops. I would take my new books to a lovely restaurant and read them while I ate a leisurely dinner. I would ignore my phone, pretend laundry didn’t exist, and insist kitchens were a mystery best left unsolved. I would do a bit of window shopping and maybe stroll through a park. Eventually, I would return to my hotel room with more cake and my new books (are you sensing a theme here?) and crawl into bed and not move for the rest of the evening. The next day I would get up (late) and do it all over again. Maybe, just maybe, I would go home after that. Maybe.
I love my family, I really do. They are lovely, good, and helpful. But I doubt there is a woman alive who has not occasionally dreamed of running away. Maybe not permanently but definitely for 48 brief, glorious hours.
The daffodils at the top of this post are from the walk I did not want to take. And yes, I have recently had cake and it was very good. I want more. How could you tell?
Have you ever run away? Tell me about it so I can live vicariously through you.
10 Comments
Angela
This! I have a husband and a 5-month-old, and I feel like it never ends. There is always something else to do, and if I want things to get done (in a somewhat timely manner, in a somewhat acceptable way), I have to do them myself. I do find walks nice, though, because I am usually by myself and can just get a minute to breathe.
jllee656
Oh yes. The baby years are hard in many ways. But then you have the lovely years when they go to bed early and you have a quiet evening. Of course, then come the teenage years when they stay up later than you do! I do like walks sometimes but they are something my husband and I do together so they definitely don’t count as alone time!
Deborah
I completely understand this and bravo for saying it! Just reading it made me feel better while thinking about the possibility:)
jllee656
I keep redoing the imaginary weekend in my head. Where would I go? What would I do? Just the planning is soothing.
Katrina
I remember those days well Jenny. But then comes the time when the family leaves home and you have empty bedrooms which seem so sad, even after being redecorated. We moved house partly because I hated it not being a family home for us any more. I am very good at putting washing in the machine, but often forget to hang it out when it has gone through the wash cycle! I’m absolutely with you on cake!
jllee656
I am pretty sure that if I ran away for a few days I would miss them…eventually! Cake is always a good idea.
Lyn
I am never ever alone. And there are too many demands on my limited energy. My lovely retired husband takes me everywhere (because I have health problems), and our son lives with us. Last week the house was miraculously empty. I put on my shoes and went out the door and walked. For 15 glorious minutes it was just me and the daffodils. Then lovely husband came home, saw me, and joined me. That was lovely too. But.
jllee656
I completely understand the “but”.
Tanja/the red phone box travels
we ran away to Malta:) had holidays without the kids. but I know what you mean.
jllee656
Running away to Malta sounds lovely! I hope you had a wonderful time.