{"id":416,"date":"2015-09-30T10:42:00","date_gmt":"2015-09-30T10:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/2015\/09\/30\/thank-heaven-fasting\/"},"modified":"2020-10-28T17:53:25","modified_gmt":"2020-10-28T17:53:25","slug":"thank-heaven-fasting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/2015\/09\/30\/thank-heaven-fasting\/","title":{"rendered":"Thank Heaven Fasting by E.M. Delafield"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Hydrangea<\/a><\/div>\n

I love the Provincial Lady<\/i> series by E. M. Delafield. \u00a0They are witty and clever and laugh out loud funny. \u00a0Lately, I have been trying some of her other novels. \u00a0I read Consequences<\/i>\u00a0a while ago. \u00a0I found it so depressing I had trouble judging whether it was good or not. (I know it was good, the internet tells me so, it was just so sad.) \u00a0Last week I read Thank Heaven Fasting<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Thank Heaven Fasting<\/i> is the story of Monica Ingram. \u00a0When the book starts she is just about to “come out” in society with all that implies.<\/p>\n

“She could never, looking backwards, remember a time when she had not known that a woman’s failure or success in life depended entirely upon whether or not she succeeded in getting a husband.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Really, that sums up the whole book right there. \u00a0Monica knows she needs to find a husband, her mother knows it. \u00a0Everyone knows that is the whole purpose of the rounds of balls and visits. \u00a0The girls have been groomed from childhood to catch a man. \u00a0They are taught to make the best of themselves, to look interested but not too desperate, and most of all to never do anything that might damage their reputation because then no man would look at them.<\/p>\n

Monica falls in love with the wrong man and commits the sin of kissing him at a party. \u00a0The book then becomes a story of quiet desperation. \u00a0 Monica returns to society the next season but she never is as successful again. \u00a0With each succeeding year, she and her mother become a little more anxious and Monica feels like more of a failure. \u00a0In the end, she does find a man and blossoms again, feeling like she has fulfilled her purpose and regained her self-worth.<\/p>\n

I found it an interesting portrait of life during that time. \u00a0There was nothing available for women who didn’t marry. \u00a0Monica and her friends, Frederica and Cecily, were treated as children well into their adulthood because they hadn’t married. \u00a0They were stuck in a half-life somewhere between childhood and adulthood. \u00a0No wonder they were so desperate to marry. \u00a0It was the only way to grow up at all.<\/p>\n

My modern sensibilities wanted Monica to break away from the restrictions of the world she lived in and fill her life with meaning. \u00a0But that isn’t who or what she was. \u00a0She was a product of her times, as was her mother. \u00a0It would be easy to blame her for putting these expectations on Monica but what else did she know? \u00a0In her eyes, she was doing what was best for her daughter and desperately trying to make sure her daughter had a place in life.<\/p>\n

This was an interesting portrayal of a society where women’s worth depended on their success in marriage. \u00a0I suppose that applies to many time periods in history. \u00a0I did wonder whether Monica would be happy with her husband after her marriage but I am not sure Monica thought that way. \u00a0She spent her life hiding her feelings. \u00a0Even her two friends were not people she would have picked, but she was friends with them because it was expected of her. \u00a0She took care of her mother for a long time and submerged her own feelings. \u00a0I think loving her husband didn’t matter as much. \u00a0She had achieved success according to the standards of her day, she had gained a position as a married woman, she would have children. \u00a0She would be treated with respect instead of as a dependent child. \u00a0Maybe for Monica those things balanced out what we would view as happiness.<\/p>\n

I enjoyed this book. \u00a0It made me think a lot about what is expected of women. \u00a0Obviously, the society I live in has progressed, for the most part, beyond a time period where a woman’s worth depends solely on marriage. \u00a0However, I think sometimes the world has gone to the opposite extreme. \u00a0A woman’s worth frequently depends on her career and her success in it. \u00a0I recently read some comments directed at a woman who has chosen to focus on her marriage and children at this time. \u00a0The clear implication was that she was wasting her life. Not necessarily because she wanted to be with her children but because she was happy with that. \u00a0She wasn’t yearning for a big career. The term housewife was used to scathing effect. \u00a0I think that is sad. \u00a0I don’t want to live in a world where a woman’s value depends on her marital status but I also don’t want to live in a world where if a woman chooses to stay home with her children she is somehow less successful. \u00a0A little balance is needed and a little empathy for other women’s choices and the circumstances that are thrust upon them. \u00a0We live in a society that provides more opportunities for women but at the same time, just as with Monica, a woman’s self-worth can depend on how people perceive her and how she is living her life. \u00a0Society’s expectations can be a heavy weight to carry in our day just as they were for Monica.<\/p>\n

I think Thank Heaven Fasting<\/i> is worth reading. \u00a0It was an interesting insight into the mindset of the past. \u00a0For me, it did raise some interesting thoughts about the value put on women and the choices or lack thereof that women have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I love the Provincial Lady series by E. M. Delafield. \u00a0They are witty and clever and laugh out loud funny. \u00a0Lately, I have been trying some of her other novels. \u00a0I read Consequences\u00a0a while ago. \u00a0I found it so depressing I had trouble judging whether it was good or not. (I know it was good, the internet tells me so, it was just so sad.) \u00a0Last week I read Thank Heaven Fasting. Thank Heaven Fasting is the story of Monica Ingram. \u00a0When the book starts she is just about to “come out” in society with all that implies. “She could never, looking backwards, remember a time when she had not known that a woman’s failure or success in life depended entirely upon whether or not she succeeded in getting a husband.” Really, that sums up the whole book right there. \u00a0Monica knows she needs to find a husband, her mother knows it. \u00a0Everyone knows that is the whole purpose of the rounds of balls and visits. \u00a0The girls have been groomed from childhood to catch a man. \u00a0They are taught to make the best of themselves, to look interested but not too desperate, and most of all to never do anything that might damage their reputation because then no man would look at them. Monica falls in love with the wrong man and commits the sin of kissing him at a party. \u00a0The book then becomes a story of quiet desperation. \u00a0 Monica returns to society the next season but she never is as successful again. \u00a0With each succeeding year, she and her mother become a little more anxious and Monica feels like more of a failure. \u00a0In the end, she does find a man and blossoms again, feeling like she has fulfilled her purpose and regained her self-worth. I found it an interesting portrait of life during that time. \u00a0There was nothing available for women who didn’t marry. \u00a0Monica and her friends, Frederica and Cecily, were treated as children well into their adulthood because they hadn’t married. \u00a0They were stuck in a half-life somewhere between childhood and adulthood. \u00a0No wonder they were so desperate to marry. \u00a0It was the only way to grow up at all. My modern sensibilities wanted Monica to break away from the restrictions of the world she lived in and fill her life with meaning. \u00a0But that isn’t who or what she was. \u00a0She was a product of her times, as was her mother. \u00a0It would be easy to blame her for putting these expectations on Monica but what else did she know? \u00a0In her eyes, she was doing what was best for her daughter and desperately trying to make sure her daughter had a place in life. This was an interesting portrayal of a society where women’s worth depended on their success in marriage. \u00a0I suppose that applies to many time periods in history. \u00a0I did wonder whether Monica would be happy with her husband after her marriage but I am not sure Monica thought that way. \u00a0She spent her life hiding her feelings. \u00a0Even her two friends were not people she would have picked, but she was friends with them because it was expected of her. \u00a0She took care of her mother for a long time and submerged her own feelings. \u00a0I think loving her husband didn’t matter as much. \u00a0She had achieved success according to the standards of her day, she had gained a position as a married woman, she would have children. \u00a0She would be treated with respect instead of as a dependent child. \u00a0Maybe for Monica those things balanced out what we would view as happiness. I enjoyed this book. \u00a0It made me think a lot about what is expected of women. \u00a0Obviously, the society I live in has progressed, for the most part, beyond a time period where a woman’s worth depends solely on marriage. \u00a0However, I think sometimes the world has gone to the opposite extreme. \u00a0A woman’s worth frequently depends on her career and her success in it. \u00a0I recently read some comments directed at a woman who has chosen to focus on her marriage and children at this time. \u00a0The clear implication was that she was wasting her life. Not necessarily because she wanted to be with her children but because she was happy with that. \u00a0She wasn’t yearning for a big career. The term housewife was used to scathing effect. \u00a0I think that is sad. \u00a0I don’t want to live in a world where a woman’s value depends on her marital status but I also don’t want to live in a world where if a woman chooses to stay home with her children she is somehow less successful. \u00a0A little balance is needed and a little empathy for other women’s choices and the circumstances that are thrust upon them. \u00a0We live in a society that provides more opportunities for women but at the same time, just as with Monica, a woman’s self-worth can depend on how people perceive her and how she is living her life. \u00a0Society’s expectations can be a heavy weight to carry in our day just as they were for Monica. I think Thank Heaven Fasting is worth reading. \u00a0It was an interesting insight into the mindset of the past. \u00a0For me, it did raise some interesting thoughts about the value put on women and the choices or lack thereof that women have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":481,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,73,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-e-m-delafield","category-review"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=416"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2936,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416\/revisions\/2936"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}