{"id":393,"date":"2015-11-25T13:29:00","date_gmt":"2015-11-25T13:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/2015\/11\/25\/kids-parents-and-other-nonsense\/"},"modified":"2020-10-28T17:19:50","modified_gmt":"2020-10-28T17:19:50","slug":"kids-parents-and-other-nonsense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/2015\/11\/25\/kids-parents-and-other-nonsense\/","title":{"rendered":"Kids, Parents, and Other Nonsense"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"girl<\/a><\/div>\n

So, this is about being a parent and being around other parents and raising kids. \u00a0If that isn’t your thing, you can click away now. \u00a0If you enjoy listening to rants feel free to stick around, I’m glad to have you.<\/p>\n

Our kids go to public school, I don’t homeschool.<\/p>\n

We see nothing wrong with requiring our kids to do chores.<\/p>\n

We never let the kids sleep in our bed, even when they were tiny.<\/p>\n

We are very strict about what video games our kids play.<\/p>\n

My general belief is that a little junk food isn’t going to kill my kids.<\/p>\n

We are a bit old-fashioned and require the kids to use Mr\/Mrs etc when addressing adults unless given permission to do otherwise.<\/p>\n

I could go on and on. \u00a0These are our parenting choices.<\/p>\n

Let me be very clear. The operative word here is choices. \u00a0I am not saying my way is the only right way. \u00a0It isn’t. There are lots of ways to raise children. \u00a0It all depends on your family, your kids, your situation. \u00a0I know that, I am hoping you know that. \u00a0What I want to know is why so many other people don’t know that. \u00a0Why do people feel free to tell parents that public school is bad, your child who is mowing the lawn is overworked, and you shouldn’t bake because sugar is bad for your kid? \u00a0What is up with people?<\/p>\n

I think if there is one piece \u00a0of advice I could give new parents it would be “don’t judge.” \u00a0It is so easy to always think that your way is the right way. \u00a0After all, it works for you, shouldn’t it work for every other parent on earth? \u00a0And you know what? \u00a0Maybe your way is the right way or the better way. \u00a0But sometimes as a parent you can’t do the better way. \u00a0You can only do the way that is working for you right now. \u00a0Sometimes there are circumstances that prevent you from doing the better way.<\/p>\n

I learned that very early with my son. \u00a0I had always planned on breastfeeding my children. \u00a0It was good for them, kept them healthy, promoted bonding, all the things new mothers hear. \u00a0Then my son was born and he had a cleft lip and palate. \u00a0He couldn’t nurse, literally couldn’t. \u00a0So I pumped and fed him with a special bottle and I was so disappointed and felt like a failure. \u00a0(New mom hormones don’t make much sense.) \u00a0And some other moms would judge me for that bottle because they didn’t know the circumstances. \u00a0I remember sitting in a group of moms as they all talked about the joy of breastfeeding and I thought then that we never know what is going on behind the scenes. \u00a0What about the mom whose baby was in the hospital for three months and she couldn’t maintain her milk supply? \u00a0What about the mom who is taking medicine that could harm her baby so she can’t nurse? \u00a0So much we don’t know.<\/p>\n

And it applies to all aspects of parenting. \u00a0We never know. \u00a0And we as parents want so badly to be doing it all correctly. \u00a0We want some guarantee that our kids are going to turn out okay. \u00a0If our decisions aren’t the best possible ones then maybe the kids won’t be fine. \u00a0So tell the world homeschooling\/public school is best because that is what we are doing and we have to believe we are doing it right. Insist that never letting your kid taste sugar is the way to go because otherwise the work of packing alternative snacks and denying them donuts is pointless. \u00a0But you know what? \u00a0It doesn’t matter. \u00a0There is no need to be doing everything right for the whole world. \u00a0We only have to be doing it right for our family.<\/p>\n

But don’t go around telling the other families they are doing it wrong. \u00a0Don’t judge. \u00a0You can have your opinion but keep it to yourself. \u00a0If someone makes a different decision from yours that doesn’t make their decision wrong, just different. \u00a0(Unless you are insisting that reading is a waste of time. \u00a0Then you are just plain wrong. \u00a0I’m joking…kind of.) \u00a0And their different decision doesn’t call into question the validity of your decision. Why do people feel threatened by a different opinion?<\/p>\n

You should firmly believe in your parenting decisions. \u00a0You should think about them, weigh options, consider, and then do what you implicitly believe is right for your family. \u00a0And you should still implicitly believe it is right even when someone else makes a different, also perfectly correct, decision. However, you shouldn’t tell that person all about why their decision is wrong. Because there are two sides to every parenting choice. \u00a0You can argue for and against public school, for and against junk food, for and against co-sleeping.<\/p>\n

So we send our children to school, we feed them sugar, we make them do chores, and we were always thrilled they slept in their own beds.<\/p>\n

You don’t have to agree. \u00a0In fact, feel free to completely disagree. \u00a0Just don’t feel free to tell us we are doing it wrong.<\/p>\n

End of rant. \u00a0This was not inspired by anyone who reads this blog, mainly because no one I know in the real world does read this blog. \u00a0It was inspired by some very opinionated friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, this is about being a parent and being around other parents and raising kids. \u00a0If that isn’t your thing, you can click away now. \u00a0If you enjoy listening to rants feel free to stick around, I’m glad to have you. Our kids go to public school, I don’t homeschool. We see nothing wrong with requiring our kids to do chores. We never let the kids sleep in our bed, even when they were tiny. We are very strict about what video games our kids play. My general belief is that a little junk food isn’t going to kill my kids. We are a bit old-fashioned and require the kids to use Mr\/Mrs etc when addressing adults unless given permission to do otherwise. I could go on and on. \u00a0These are our parenting choices. Let me be very clear. The operative word here is choices. \u00a0I am not saying my way is the only right way. \u00a0It isn’t. There are lots of ways to raise children. \u00a0It all depends on your family, your kids, your situation. \u00a0I know that, I am hoping you know that. \u00a0What I want to know is why so many other people don’t know that. \u00a0Why do people feel free to tell parents that public school is bad, your child who is mowing the lawn is overworked, and you shouldn’t bake because sugar is bad for your kid? \u00a0What is up with people? I think if there is one piece \u00a0of advice I could give new parents it would be “don’t judge.” \u00a0It is so easy to always think that your way is the right way. \u00a0After all, it works for you, shouldn’t it work for every other parent on earth? \u00a0And you know what? \u00a0Maybe your way is the right way or the better way. \u00a0But sometimes as a parent you can’t do the better way. \u00a0You can only do the way that is working for you right now. \u00a0Sometimes there are circumstances that prevent you from doing the better way. I learned that very early with my son. \u00a0I had always planned on breastfeeding my children. \u00a0It was good for them, kept them healthy, promoted bonding, all the things new mothers hear. \u00a0Then my son was born and he had a cleft lip and palate. \u00a0He couldn’t nurse, literally couldn’t. \u00a0So I pumped and fed him with a special bottle and I was so disappointed and felt like a failure. \u00a0(New mom hormones don’t make much sense.) \u00a0And some other moms would judge me for that bottle because they didn’t know the circumstances. \u00a0I remember sitting in a group of moms as they all talked about the joy of breastfeeding and I thought then that we never know what is going on behind the scenes. \u00a0What about the mom whose baby was in the hospital for three months and she couldn’t maintain her milk supply? \u00a0What about the mom who is taking medicine that could harm her baby so she can’t nurse? \u00a0So much we don’t know. And it applies to all aspects of parenting. \u00a0We never know. \u00a0And we as parents want so badly to be doing it all correctly. \u00a0We want some guarantee that our kids are going to turn out okay. \u00a0If our decisions aren’t the best possible ones then maybe the kids won’t be fine. \u00a0So tell the world homeschooling\/public school is best because that is what we are doing and we have to believe we are doing it right. Insist that never letting your kid taste sugar is the way to go because otherwise the work of packing alternative snacks and denying them donuts is pointless. \u00a0But you know what? \u00a0It doesn’t matter. \u00a0There is no need to be doing everything right for the whole world. \u00a0We only have to be doing it right for our family. But don’t go around telling the other families they are doing it wrong. \u00a0Don’t judge. \u00a0You can have your opinion but keep it to yourself. \u00a0If someone makes a different decision from yours that doesn’t make their decision wrong, just different. \u00a0(Unless you are insisting that reading is a waste of time. \u00a0Then you are just plain wrong. \u00a0I’m joking…kind of.) \u00a0And their different decision doesn’t call into question the validity of your decision. Why do people feel threatened by a different opinion? You should firmly believe in your parenting decisions. \u00a0You should think about them, weigh options, consider, and then do what you implicitly believe is right for your family. \u00a0And you should still implicitly believe it is right even when someone else makes a different, also perfectly correct, decision. However, you shouldn’t tell that person all about why their decision is wrong. Because there are two sides to every parenting choice. \u00a0You can argue for and against public school, for and against junk food, for and against co-sleeping. So we send our children to school, we feed them sugar, we make them do chores, and we were always thrilled they slept in their own beds. You don’t have to agree. \u00a0In fact, feel free to completely disagree. \u00a0Just don’t feel free to tell us we are doing it wrong. End of rant. \u00a0This was not inspired by anyone who reads this blog, mainly because no one I know in the real world does read this blog. \u00a0It was inspired by some very opinionated friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,59],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children","category-mutterings"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=393"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2907,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions\/2907"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.holdsuponhappiness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}